Looking Back Further

It really scares me sometimes to look back at my old days primary school friends to see how much they have changed over the years. It's like someone you are familiar with suddenly becomes another stranger and tells you he/she is the person you've known very long. Especially seeing them getting married with kids, doing different work, or getting totally messed up. It's a very nostalgic feeling, you looked at the familiar yet not-so familiar faces, it brings back the childhood days memories, what you have done with them, what you have said, the funny / ridiculous incidents that happened etc.

Although to a certain extend I know that I have changed a lot as well, but because I have been with myself during the course of change that it didn't occur to me the great difference since when I was a child. Seeing these old time friends whom I have lost touch with, listening to how much have changed in their lives, what has happened, the kids, the careers, the husbands / boyfriends, the wives / girlfriends, the cars and the houses. It's unbelievable how, the faces that you remembered as kids and so very small and naive is suddenly talking about all these worldly things that are happening to myself as well.

It's like a kid telling you about their woes as a adult. It's weird. And then they go on to reminisce the times when they were kids, when we were friends at school. The only thing that was ever fun was P.E. and recess, or holidays after examinations. It was a good feeling to think back and see how ridiculous I was as a child. I do remember that I seldom go out with my friends during holidays. Except during my last year at primary school a little more. Then I never contacted them all throughout my Secondary school days. Never understood why so. It seems like a phase that went past and Secondary school is where you begin the next phase of life and start afresh. Frankly, it was regretful to me. Should have tried to keep up with my friends more, couldn't quite remember why I did not think it matters at all when I was younger.

On some occasions when I go cranky in the mind, I would even go google or find these friends in facebook, it gives a sort of awe if I ever do find them; especially in facebook, and to see their photos that tells the stories of how they've been and recent happenings. This is even weirder, I guess. Although I do find it sort of sad that I missed things in their life... when I was part of their life as a kid. Now that we don't even see each other, less to even think about each other at all.

It's true in life, sometimes you move on too fast to realise you've lost friends on the way, missed the people who were once closed to you at a certain point. Miss the connection with people whom you've spent so much time to bond with, or probably even share some of your little secrets that were big to you before. Is it because we never thought it was of any importance, of people whom we have taken granted, or to even feel it is natural to to lose them at all?

Hopefully, as I get older, I will value my friendshiip and connections with people much much more than now instead of just thinking all about myself. Sigh, it is at this point that I know that I miss all my friends a lot. :)